Sunday, March 23, 2008

Eat, Pray, Love

I've been reading a new book recommended by a friend of mine that I happened to come accross at the airport just before my flight back home from Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. I am only just finishing the first chapter but so far I have really enjoyed going on a vicarious journey of self-discovery with the author. I'd like to share my favorite quote from the book (so far, at least). "I will leave with the hope that the expansion of one person-the magnification of one life-is indeed an act of worth in this world. Even if that life, just this one time, happens to be nobody's but my own." For me, my discovery when reading this was that it might, just might, be okay to try to magnify one's life. It just might be okay to take pride (gasp!) in certain aspects of one's self and to not constantly be so self-depricating. For most of you I'm sure, you are thinking, of course, no duh, we know that. But for me, for some reason (which I know but won't share) I have always felt like I needed to downplay (not the best word but I can't think of a better one at the moment) any positives about me and up-play (again, forgive the word choice) any negatives about me (and about my family for that matter). So, for example, when someone gives me a compliment, I immediately tell them why they are seriously mistaken in their compliment and then commence with listing the several reasons why their compliment is completely wrong and unwaranted. This behavior, or thinking error (that one's for you Barry Fell) as the therapist call it, has become such an ingrained habit that until now, I hardly realized I was doing it. And the worst part is, I do it not just with regards to myself, but also to Kade and to my boys. For example, the other day at Costco a woman came up to me and said that Kellin was such a joyful little boy and has such a great outgoing personality. And what did I say in response? "Thank you, I think so too." Nope, not me, instead I replied, "oh gosh, I'm sorry, he bugs people wherever we go. He just loves people and gets too excited, sorry! Kellin, get over here and leave those people alone." I can only imagine what this lady thought about my response, but more importantly, I am sad to imagine what Kellin felt at hearing my response. Because truely, I would rather that lady have walked away possibly thinking that I was proud (and maybe even a little too proud) of my fantastic son than to have Kellin walk away thinking there is something wrong with the way he loves people and is kind and friendly and talkative to anyone and everyone he sees.
So anyways, I went a little far on that tangent, but the gist of it is, for me at least, is that it's ok to strive to magnify your life. It's ok to be proud of your good qualities and it's ok to take a compliment with a simple "thank you, that means a lot" and go about your day enjoying the compliment. So, the next time someone gives me a compliment, I'm going to try it. And maybe even be brave enough to give one in return. Any thoughts?

5 comments:

C Smoot said...

I forgot to mention to you last night that I have been thinking about this book. I've seen it at the stores. Since the cover is so eye popping I wondered if it was worth a try to read it. I'll have to go out and buy it!

Brittany & Barry said...

I didn't know you could read Mary. That's brilliant!!

Emily H. said...

Good blog, Mary. I do the same thing... especially with Isaac. Often when people comment on how cute he is, I for some reason respond by telling them just how wild and crazy he can be. You got me thinking... Also, here is a real compliment to help you practice- you are the best sister I could ever ask for! :) Emily

The Mathews Family said...

Ha ha Barry, very funny. I didn't know you could spell, especially the big words like "brilliant" -good on you!

The Mathews Family said...

Thank you my beloved sister Emily...I think you're pretty darn fantastic too!