How sweet, huh? With such an adorable face you wouldn't think this sweet little boy in on the verge of being suspended from the day care (again!) for hitting & scratching & hair pulling. But, alas, he is. I need some help. I take Ethan to the community center day care for an hour three times a week while I help in Kellin's preschool. A few months ago I got a call from the day care director, very nicely saying that if I can't get Ethan to stop hitting, etc... that he will have to be put on a 30 day suspension! So, Kade and I worked very hard putting him on time outs any time he was aggressive and it seemed to work. He has been doing better for the past couple of months, until this past week. All of a sudden the behavior is back and I don't know what to do. I try to not personalize it, but it is hard to pick him up from the day care and have the workers give me "that look" and tell me that he is hitting again. I am dreading the inevitable call from the director. So, I know other parents have been through this, I know it's not me, but I need some advice, suggestions, etc on things I can do to change this behavior. We do the time-out thing, and I've tried to teach him "soft" and "no hit". They work ok, but I'm hoping some of my amazing mother-friends out there might be able to give some more suggestions. He is such a smart and happy baby, I love him to pieces, I just don't know why he is hitting and scratching and I don't know how to fix it. Help, please!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Biting, Hitting, Scratching
How sweet, huh? With such an adorable face you wouldn't think this sweet little boy in on the verge of being suspended from the day care (again!) for hitting & scratching & hair pulling. But, alas, he is. I need some help. I take Ethan to the community center day care for an hour three times a week while I help in Kellin's preschool. A few months ago I got a call from the day care director, very nicely saying that if I can't get Ethan to stop hitting, etc... that he will have to be put on a 30 day suspension! So, Kade and I worked very hard putting him on time outs any time he was aggressive and it seemed to work. He has been doing better for the past couple of months, until this past week. All of a sudden the behavior is back and I don't know what to do. I try to not personalize it, but it is hard to pick him up from the day care and have the workers give me "that look" and tell me that he is hitting again. I am dreading the inevitable call from the director. So, I know other parents have been through this, I know it's not me, but I need some advice, suggestions, etc on things I can do to change this behavior. We do the time-out thing, and I've tried to teach him "soft" and "no hit". They work ok, but I'm hoping some of my amazing mother-friends out there might be able to give some more suggestions. He is such a smart and happy baby, I love him to pieces, I just don't know why he is hitting and scratching and I don't know how to fix it. Help, please!
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4 comments:
I'll keep this short since my last comment took up the whole page. Um, I'm sorry but I just don't believe you. He just looks too sweet and loveable and dear to do any of those things you talked about. :) Nice joke- but sorry, you can't fool me.
Now this is tough! I too am going through a similar problem, gratefully my "Sweet Little Angel" is with his grandparents, so no chance of him being "suspended". (At least I hope not...) Kaden screams at the top of his lungs something that sounds like "shut-up" whenever he gets mad. It is so very embarrassing especially when we are at the store. I have done the time out thing but it doesn't seem to sink in with him. I have now started to threaten putting soap in his mouth. (An old fancy trick my mom used to pull. Good thing she doesn't hear some of my language now. ;o) The soap industry could have spiked a time or two.) All I can say is good luck and consistency is key.
Can I just say I love, love, love Ethan- he is a good kid and I so admire you for talking such a problem solving approach when it comes to your kids. You are a great mom! I came across this when I was looking into fixing the behavior of a certain perschool child. Guess who;)!!! Anyway, the suggestion was to "let your toddler help care for the victim. This will teach him his behavior is hurtful and how to empathize with others." I don't know???
Wish I could help you, but my kids are just SO perfect they have never hit or scratched in their lives... hahahahahaha, don't I wish!!!
I have not had a problem yet with hitting, but we had a problem with Parker biting when he was little. It sounds horrible, but we actually bit him back, to show him that it hurts. We didn't do it super hard and we only had to do it once- that stopped the problem immediately, once he realized it really hurts people & that's why we were telling him it's not okay. Now, I'm not suggesting that you hit him, I know that's different, but does he understand that it hurts, and that's why it's not okay? It's so hard, I wish I had the answer for you, kids don't come with an instruction manual, but they really should! (: I googled "get kids to stop hitting" and it brought up suggestions, but a lot of them were time outs, which you said are not helping. You could try that and read through some of them, though. Good Luck, let me know what solves it so when Berkley & Banks start doing it, we know how to fix it! (;
Kristy
P.S. He is really adorable! You guys make cute kids, you should keep having more! (;
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